INTRODUCTION

Welcome my friends to the show that never ends!

At this site you will find excerpts from the multi-volume Unauthorized Autobiography of Robert ‘Bob’ Belvedere.

These choice cuts from this incredible meisterwerk are being made available as a service to all of Bob’s fans who have been demanding to know more about the man, the myth, and the rutabaga.

TABLE OF CONTENTS:

VOLUME I: 1961-1964

VOLUME II: 1964-1968

VOLUME III: 1968 – 08:30 A.M. October 04, 1972

VOLUME IV: 08:39* A.M. October 04, 1972 – 1977

VOLUME V: 1977-1982

*Those missing eight minutes between Volumes III and IV are known as ‘The Lost Minutes Of Bob Belvedere’ and are classified till this day.

Excerpt From VOLUME I: 1961-1964

Chapter 1:

‘…we have seen his STAR in the yeast, and are come to worship him’
—The Gospel According to Murray, 3:14159265

I was born in a crossfire hurricane and I howled at my ma in the driving rain…..er, sorry.

I was born in the early morning so that my parents could see the son rise. 

Excerpt From VOLUME II: 1964-1968

I had my first sexual experience when I was six.

Excerpt From VOLUME III: 1968 – 08:30 A.M. October 04, 1972

I stopped the affair between Ayn Rand and myself because I didn’t like being treated as a sex object-ivist.

Excerpt From VOLUME IV: 08:39 A.M October 04, 1972 – 1977

In High School I was a member of The Civil War Club and often defended the Confederate States in debates. In my Senior Year, my classmates voted me Most Likely To Secede and Least Likely To Freak Out, Man, And OD [this was the ‘70’s, after all].

Excerpt From VOLUME V: 1977-1982

1978 was a difficult year. Disco was rampant and ravaging the land, New York City was bankrupt, the Bronx was burning, Joanie loved Chachi., and Jimmy Carter was spreading malaise all over the American Sandwich.

Get Polled!